Survivor Live: James

Survivor Live, the Internet Talk Show
Guest: James
Hosts: Dalton Ross (Entertainment Weekly) and
Jenna Morasca, sole survivor Survivor Amazon

Comments made by James
"I am the most perfect man in the world," James stated, tongue firmly in cheek, early on in his Survivor Live appearance. This plus his propensity to refer to people as "crack head" is all you need to know about his sense of humor. He tried to keep a fun positive attitude on Survivor which was difficult with Ulong losing so many challenges. James maintains that his knot worked as advertised.

James didn't hold anything back when talking about the other players. Ibrehem is a good guy but he is lazy and James attributes this to bad parenting. Kim is a "lazy old skank." Bobby Jon didn't talk with him after he talked with Stephenie. And he feels that she betrayed him which pisses him off. He also said his wife wants to kick her ass at the reunion show. James says that he's not homophobic ("too bad") despite some comments that he made in regard to Coby. He regrets not keeping Angie around longer because then maybe he would have lasted longer. Jeff had a bad attitude and a "sissy foot" so he had to go. James confirmed that Ibrehem did go swimming in the lake with the Jellyfish, so maybe he's not as afraid of the water as I thought.

James was asked if he felt that he was accurately portrayed and he answered "yes." This got me a thinkin'. He claims Survivor didn't show a lot of what happened (how funny he was), he called Jeff Probst a "fibber" (re: time spent adjusting his toga), among other things. In ten editions of Survivor and over 100 competitors not one player has come out and said that he/she wasn't portrayed accurately. What are the odds of that? No one out of sour grapes (or just plain anger) has ever come out and said "reality show my ass, this is fixed and I wasn't accurately shown." So what's going on here? Well, as that great economist Ms Cyndi Lauper has said "money changes everything." I bet there's a clause in the contact they all sign providing for a real big monetary fine if they say they weren't portrayed accurately. I believe there's a similar clause about revealing the winner and other such information about the show.

Other Nonsense
Two more of those stupid Replay Survivor videos were shown (please don't send anymore in). The show ended with Jenna and James in a snack food eating contest (he won).

Finally as they faded out, I think I heard James say "my wife is a stripper" (did anyone else catch it?). I don't think that she can kick Stephenie's ass even if she is one of those tough redneck stripper chicks.

So ends James' fifteen minutes of "fame". He belongs to Alabama now.

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Early Show: James

James says that Jeff Probst is a fibber. He did not spend 3 to 4 minutes fixing his toga during the Immunity challenge (he says it was a minute tops). Also they didn't show how much Koror struggled with his wonderful knot. He also feels Stephenie stabbed him in the back because he thought they had an alliance. He doesn't know what Bobby Jon was thinking; he couldn't believe what he was watching. Ibrehem is a good guy but he's clumsy and a klutz and that's why he wanted him gone. Not aired: James getting drunk on Mai Tai's and showing off his G String (thank you Mark Burnett). Finally James feels that he's now a better person to his family for being on Survivor (see, reality TV is good for society).

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Episode 6, James Goes Home

Ulong wins Reward but loses Immunity yet again. James is voted off at Tribal Council after another tie vote.

After the recap of last episode, Ibrehem says that was one crazy Tribal Council (last week's). James lays into Ibrehem in front of Stephenie and Bobby Jon. In private Bobby Jon criticizes James saying that "we win and lose as a team." Ibrehem is then shown praying. He says he tries to get away and pray when he can. (I wonder if someone from production showed him which direction Mecca is?)

Over at Koror everyone seems to have a new "rush of energy" according to Ian. Tom seems to agree and says it's building time and Gregg and most of the others are shown cutting logs etc. However Katie seems to think it is "craft day" according to Coby. She's shown sewing or making necklaces or some such thing. Caryn says something like Katie must think that she's just here to entertain us. (Katie does not seem to be very popular at Koror.)

Reward Challenge
Competition: knock out tiles using a replica WW2 gun; first tribe to 8 wins
Reward: snorkeling at Jellyfish Lake (plus food and drink)
Sits out: Janu, Jennifer, Katie and Ian

Ulong wins Reward, 8 tiles to 7. Stephenie knocks out all four tiles she shoots at and wins it for her tribe.

For the record (I think this is correct):
Bobbj Jon M, H , H, H
Gregg M, H , H, H
James 4 misses
Coby M, M, M, H
Ibrehem M, H, M, M
Tom H, M, M, M
Stephenie 4 hits
Caryn M, H, H, M

They each took a single shot in turn (and in the order listed above, which turned over after each had a shot). M=missed tile, H=hit tile. To sum things up, everyone knocked out at least one tile except for James who missed all of his.

Stephenie (left) says that they really needed the win to boost their spirits and morale. They got to spend the afternoon on a nice boat eating (some sort of potato chips, Herr's I think) and drinking Mai Tais (except for Ibrehem I guess). The snorkeling with the jellyfish looked amazing (this fresh water type doesn't have stingers). They were everywhere and the water looked pretty clear too. This is one reason I like Survivor, I've never seen anything like this. I don't remember Ibrehem swimming. Is he deathly afraid of the water or what?

What's in a Mai Tai? mmm rum . . .
        1 ounce light rum
        1 ounce gold rum
        1/2 ounce orange curaçao
        1/2 ounce Orgeat (Almond Syrup)
        1/2 ounce fresh lime juice
        1 ounce dark rum

Shake all but the dark rum with ice. Strain into old fashioned glass. Top with the dark rum. Garnish with a maraschino cherry. Drink responsibly - if at all, don't drink and drive.

Meanwhile at Koror there's a major storm, very windy indeed! The next morning Coby says it was "pure hell." Katie says Janu is really losing it (I think she means emotionally). Tom talks with and consuls Janu.

Immunity Challenge
Competition: build it up, tear it down
Sits out: Tom, Gregg, Coby and Caryn

Tree mail brings a footlocker-size wooden box, rope and the other tribe's flag. The instructions say to secure the flag as best as they can inside the box, so starts the Immunity Challenge. The tribes are given another opportunity to make it more difficult to get to the flags. Out in the water are bundles of lumber. They are given 20 minutes to get the bundles and use them in constructing a barrier around the boxes. Afterwards they will try and retrieve their flag from the other tribe's contraption. The first tribe to do so wins Immunity.

From the time they got the tree mail, James tells Ulong that they can't lose this competition since he knows all sorts of knots from being in the navy. One particular knot he says shows no ends and the more you pull it the tighter it gets. Sounds good, right? How can they lose this challenge? They lost by not hustling, that's how. First off only Stephenie and Bobby Jon go in the water to get the lumber. Ibrehem only goes in up to about his waist (Again, is he deathly afraid of the water or what?) James stays behind to work some more on the box. The only problem is that he spends a lot of time adjusting his toga. (Yes, you read that right.) He stands there fixing his clothes rather than tightening knots or whatever. Somehow Ulong managed to at least use all of the materials provided. Koror had some pieces left over, which should have made it easier for Ulong. It didn't appear to matter. Koror were the first to get their box out of the construction area and to the table in order to untie the original knots (the ones James really bragged about). Koror ran and hustled all the way between stations and Ulong looked like they were on a Sunday stroll. It didn't look like Koror won by that much time, maybe if Ulong had hustled they could have won.

Koror win Immunity.

Stephenie is not used to losing blah, blah, blah . . .
James tells her that he's sure Bobby Jon won't vote for him. However Bobby Jon tells her that he wants James to go because he thinks that James voted for him at last Tribal Council. Bobby Jon thinks this because the handwriting looked like a man's. Stephenie tells him that's right, that she voted for Angie. In private she tells us that she did vote for Bobby Jon. She lied to him! My Stephenie is a liar, all right! Giddy up, game on. How will she vote? If she votes for James with Bobby Jon there will be a tie.

Somewhere in here James says that Ibrehem's God (aka Allah) may have saved him last time but this time his God (presumedly a good redneck Christian God) is stronger so Ibrehem (left) will be gone. Yes, James is a big jerk. (Note: He's all the same God, you're all sons and daughters of Abraham. Learn to play nice. Tolerance and understanding is a good thing.)

Ulong at Tribal Council (sixth straight time)
(paraphrased)
Probst: James you guys haven't won one immunity?
James: We must hear the word "immunity" and subconsciously sabotage ourselves.
Probst: James do you hold yourself up to the same criteria as the others, like Ibrehem?
James: There are other factors involved not just how well you do in challenges. Like how you get along with others.
Probst: Bobby Jon do you trust the others?
Bobby Jon: Yes.
Probst: How about you Stephenie?
Stephenie: Yes, I trust them.
Probst: Even though all three of them are from Alabama?
Stephenie: Yes, I do my best and don't think about that.

Time to vote:
2 votes for James, 2 votes for Ibrehem. Another tie vote!
Stephenie and Bobby Jon vote again and James gets both of the votes so he's gone.

Alliances
Stephenie and Bobby Jon (right) have agreed that Ibrehem is the next to go if necessary. There wasn't anyway to tell how well the Soft Alliance between Gregg and Coby is holding up.

Heroes & Villains
James is a real jerk and I'm glad that he's gone. I still like Stephenie a lot. I like Janu (right) when she's not crying.

Official Episode Title: Jellyfish 'N Chips

Won Reward: Ulong
(snorkeling at Jellyfish Lake)

Immunity: Koror

Voted Off: James

Note: next week's show returns to Thursday night.

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Survivor Fantasy: My Picks

Janu, takes a nap, points last week: 6
She's been featured in ads this week so maybe she gets some air time. She'll have to sit out a competition so I'm hoping she makes up the points somehow: crying, going in the water or taking a nap.

Stephenie, first interviewed at tribal council, points last week: 0
I figure with Steph, BJ and Ibe I have a 3 in 4 chance of one of them being interviewed first at Tribal Council (James is suspected of being voted off tonight).

Ibrehem, first interviewed at tribal council, points last week: 25 (individual immunity)
He's also been featured in the TV ads this week so maybe he gets some points. At least he won't lose points by sitting out one of the competitions.

Bobby Jon, first interviewed at tribal council, points last week: 40 (first interviewed at tribal council)
There are only four left in Ulong so he's got to get some air time, right? Go in the water, do something, get me some freakin' points!

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Tonight's Episode
Jellyfish 'N Chips, Episode #1006.
The seventh castaway is voted off; a night spent enduring a typhoon-force storm causes one castaway to breakdown emotionally and physically.

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Survivor Live: Willard and Angie

Survivor Live, the Internet Talk Show
Guest: Willard and Angie
Hosts: Dalton Ross (Entertainment Weekly) and
Jenna Morasca, sole survivor Survivor Amazon

Comments made by Willard
Willard had the most to say and the most interesting thoughts. Koror was anticipating a double eviction ("they could do the math") or a mixing of the tribes. In the event of the mixing-up of the tribes Koror was hoping they would have a majority in both tribes. If a mixed tribe had a minority of Koror members they planned to throw the Immunity challenge so the majority Koror tribe could vote off a former Ulong member.

Willard said that Koror was made up of dyads ("two individuals maintaining a sociologically significant relationship" - Meriam-Webster online): Gregg and Jennifer, Coby and Janu, Caryn and Willard, Tom and Ian. Katie just sucks up to power (he doesn't really like her). He's also not too fond of Tom. The words that he said after being voted off ("stay strong, stick to the plan, finish them off") were intended to get Tom thinking the wrong way in the game. Janu is really breaking down physically. (Note: this hasn't been aired much but you can watch some of it in the extra scenes at the Survivor web site.) Koror may be older than Ulong but they have the better athletes (except for Stephenie). Willard said they acted very stupid in gloating over the food at Tribal Council in front of Ulong even though Coby asked them not to beforehand.

Willard said he applied to be on Survivor as part of a bet with his wife and friends. He also did it to get in shape. He lost weight and cut his cholesterol in half. He mentioned the heat exhaustion and foot problem again but did not elaborate any further. He told everyone that he was a mailman and not the lawyer that he is. (He was a mailman previously so it really wasn't a lie.) The other two lawyers also didn't reveal their chosen profession. He also told the others that he "doesn't have any living children" implying that his children died but really he never had any kids. He said Survivor was a marvelous experience and he's surprised that he really didn't dislike anyone (even Katie?). Willard says he hasn't been watching Survivor Palau because he doesn't want to ruin the "purity of the experience." He also said that he doesn't watch "entertainment television" because it is boring.

Comments made by Angie
Being on Survivor was like being kicked constantly and she felt hopeless a lot of the time. (It probably had a lot to do with her being on Ulong, who have yet to win an Immunity challenge.) She's kind of surprised by the attention that her tattoos have gotten because she has friends with more tattoos than her (that sounds like an attractive group). Ulong really needed Jeff but he had a poor attitude so he had to go. Bobby Jon even offered to do extra work so Jeff could stay but Jeff refused. For some reason Ibrehem doesn't like her.

The ghost of Jolanda. Up until Angie was voted off everyone on Ulong kept talking about physical strength. Angie attributes this to Jolanda because she preached strength's virtue incessantly in the short time that she was on Ulong. (Kind of ironic, isn't it?)

Finally, no Replay Survivor videos were shown. I personally thank everyone who didn't send a video to CBS.

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Early Show: Angie and Willard

Despite interviews over two segments Angie and Willard didn't reveal too much of interest.

Willard said that he got heat exhaustion on day three that wasn't shown. Also he revealed that he hurt his feet somehow sometime.

Angie said that she was surprised that she was voted off because they had decided to vote off Ibrehem. She thinks that they kept Bobby Jon because he is real good at getting coconuts.

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